Updated: Jun 20, 2019
Who knew motherhood, just the pregnancy end, could be so full of ups and downs? I mean, I had read a few books, blogs, and listened to quite a bit of unsolicited snippets of advice since announcing my pregnancy, but I never knew just how much of a mental game it would be late in the 3rd trimester. I have compiled a list of the top 3 thoughts that run through my head quite a bit these days as I long for my 1st pregnancy to come to an end, and try not to scoff and roll my eyes at the women who have done this all before and kindly tell me, “Your baby will come soon enough, be patient”.
“I want to ride sooooo bad!"- I had been so stubborn in the beginning of this pregnancy about not giving up time in the saddle and was dead set on riding up until I gave birth to my son. Then the forces of motherhood took over. Constant achiness in my pelvic bones and back, nausea that never went away after the first trimester, and not being able to breathe when I try to put a foot in the stirrup are just some of the reasons why, lately, I have kept both of my feet firmly on the ground.
“I just want my body back to myself!” - Early on in my pregnancy I was crippled with morning sickness that was uncontrollable, inconsolable, and lasted all day and night. I thought surely, if I can just make it to the 2nd trimester, “the honeymoon phase” it won't be that bad and I can get back to my normal horsey routine!....Nope. 2nd trimester came and went but the nausea did not. I was lucky enough not to have much of a “bump” until about 7 and a half months…then all at once I have to squat to get to anything on the floor, I can’t breathe, my center of gravity is thrown off, I can only trim one of the horses at a time, and it's impossible to properly throw a saddle with a watermelon strapped to my front side. Much to my dismay, I hear that it doesn’t end here. I still have that fun postpartum body stuff to deal with….
“I’m not scared of the pain of labor. I’m scared of the division of attention to my horses” -It sounds shallow, and maybe it is, but this is the biggest fear I have had this entire time. Maybe it's my ignorance from being a first time mom. I literally lay awake at night (also because I can't sleep from nausea, heartburn, having to pee all the time, and only having one semi-comfy position I can be in) fretting over how I'm going to balance the time it takes to take care of a baby and devoting time to my horses and business...I still haven’t come up with a solution. However, its very relieving when my husband lets me know that I'm not doing this alone and that he completely supports me riding and growing my horse business while we navigate the craziness of 1st time parenthood. I couldn’t do it without him.
If you have any tricks of the horsey mama trade, leave them in the comments! If you are a first time horsey mama and struggle with the same thoughts I want to hear!